Picture this at a bookstore. You see a gorgeous brunette with an amazing rack and a cute sexy butt all by herself reading a magazine called “APPROACH ME” and minding her own business. Your anxiety increases because you want to bang the shit out of her, but in order to do that you have to APPROACH HER! Anxious thoughts, neediness, insecurities, all start to show in your body language. You start getting in your head in order to find a solution to overcome your fear. Excuses start to hit you like you’re getting punched in the face without any defense. Your stomach begins to feel weak and a thought occurs, such as: “AHHH! I can’t approach this girl, but I want to approach…..she’s so sexy….ugh what’s the point, she’s going to reject me anyways. I’ll approach the next one.” The sexy brunette leaves the bookstore and now you feel relieved. “Wow, she left the bookstore anyways, so I’m off the hook, but I’ll definitely approach the next one”.
Another beautiful chick with blonde hair, gorgeous green eyes, tits that look instantly delicious, and an ass that you want to grab with your mouth, starts reading a magazine called “SEX POSITIONS I ENJOY IF YOU APPROACH ME”…and all of a sudden your heart is racing AGAIN. There are also people around there too, supposedly they’re ALL ”watching you”. You said you would approach the next one…..right? So go ahead and do it! Your body freezes and you are so deep in your head that you can’t even ask her the time. Also, those random people staring at you will laugh in your face and constantly make fun of you. Those RANDOM people, who you never have seen in your life, control your actions. You turn around, avoid the girl, start beating yourself up, and then you go back to your “SAFE COMFORT ZONE”.
The fear of rejection can be such a mind-fuck that it destroys the potential in any human being taking action. When approaching strangers, rejection is INEVITABLE. You are NOT going to lay every girl that you approach no matter how well the interaction goes. Men normally place so much outcome dependency on a result, so when approaching even just one single woman, it turns into a high level of unnecessary emotional investment. How do you expect to conquer the fear of rejection without facing it? A majority of humans all suffer from anxieties especially when it comes to this fear. You are NOT the only one out there. However, there are ways and means to get passed the fear of rejection, but you must detach your emotions and understand the logic on what gives you momentum. That’s right, building momentum is like warming up on the basketball court before you play the actual game. You are just shooting baskets, stretching out, doing layup drills, etc. You’re not going to hit every shot and that’s ok, but you will be warmed up, so your mind state is ready for action to play the game the right way.
When it comes to overcoming the fear of rejection, there are no MAGICAL WORDS that can make you just snap out of the fear. You MUST feel the fear and do the inverse action. Men tend to suffer more from social and performance anxious thoughts. I have broken 3 common thought patterns in UNDERSTANDING the logic behind the fear, along with the action-oriented drill associated with it, and the result.
Once again – YOU must do the INVERSE ACTION STEP required to eradicate those FEARFUL thoughts.
VERY IMPORTANT: Keep 2 things in mind:
1 – STOP LOOKING TO “FEEL GOOD” TO TAKE ACTION – Most people only take action when they “feel” like it. Our emotions constantly change throughout the day, so does that mean you have to wait for the “perfect good feeling” in order to take action? HELL NO. That will only delay your progress. FUCK how you feel and take the action.
2 – ACTION ERADICATES FEAR – The more you develop the action-oriented mindset, the more your body gets used to going after what it wants without actually thinking about it or hesitating. Remember that famous saying, “he who hesitates, masturbates”.
LOGIC – This is a common thought process when doing Stranger Approach. Keep in Mind, what you are doing is NOT Normal. People LIVE IN FEAR and don’t take action in order to succeed. When this thought comes up ask yourself this question –“AM I GOING TO LET ONE RANDOM HUMAN BEING DICTATE HOW I FEEL? FUCK IT, I DICTATE HOW I FEEL”
ACTION – You must constantly approach a girl when “feeling” uncomfortable.
RESULT – The more consistently you do this, the more you’ll realize that girls are in fact “human beings”. Your anxiety will reduce progressively and shift to minimal/comfortable anxiety. Comfortable anxiety means that you enter the field of approaching women, without the anxiety level being super high before approaching.
LOGIC: This results in Performance Anxiety. You feel as there is a need to impress the so called “audience” watching you. Most human beings WANT TO feel superior to others. It’s called EGO, so they will see you approach, maybe “laugh”, but NEVER have the balls you have in taking action in going after what you want. If people “laugh” at you, ask them in a humble way – “can you show me how it’s done” — and you’ll see the anxiety and fear in them. As above – When this thought comes up ask yourself this question — “AM I GOING TO LET RANDOM PEOPLE DICTATE HOW I FEEL? FUCK IT, I DICTATE HOW I FEEL”.
ACTION – You must approach a girl in front of people
RESULT – Initially you may hear a comments by random people or they may laugh, but the more you do this, the more you’ll realize those opinions don’t mean shit. You want to find it a point to approach in front of others so you DO NOT get absorbed in their frames that prevent you from taking action. Be Socially Free and DON”T GIVE A FUCK!
LOGIC: This is a universal thought that most people go through before approaching a stranger in a group setting. You start to defeat yourself right before the approach because somehow you are a scientist that can predict the future! Keep in mind of the environments you are approaching in:
Day game environment (coffee shop, bookstores, mall, streets, etc.) – When approaching either 1 girl or even a group of girls, you tend to have more anxious thoughts, because this is NOT a social environment. Approaching in a NON-Social Environment is the best because you overcome fear during the day and don’t need to depend on alcohol (as most men do).
Night game environment (bars, lounge, clubs) – This is considered a Social Environment and because everyone is in a social state of mind and approaching everyone, you can approach too, plus Alcohol is involved too (AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS- DO NOT BECOME DEPENDENT ON IT).
ACTION: You must approach a group setting or 2 more girls, sitting down and/or standing in both environments.
RESULT: Approaching in a group setting can be difficult especially if you suffer from social anxiety. Social Anxiety can be really tough to deal with, especially in a group setting. Initially, ALL eyes will be on you, and you will think that you have to impress the entire group in order to “fit in”. Social Awkward energy sometimes is portrayed which is normal. REMEMBER, the point is to FEEL THE FEAR and FACE IT. The moment you face this and do this consistently, you’ll let go of this fear. It’s NOT about fitting in with the group, it’s all about conquering your fear to APPROACH the group.
Once again, these drills may seem “hardcore” at first, but getting over the fear of rejection is NOT easy and you must start with developing an action-oriented mindset. If you do half-ass approaches or just WAIT for situations to become EASY in order to approach women, then you will just fail on your path and you will never truly conquer your fear. Rejection is all about having fun and not attaching emotion to the outcome. Our minds can become so attached that it can feel like you are trapped in prison. Free yourself of your mind and become socially free, because YOU DESERVE IT.